10 Tips for Letting Go

By Lili Gevorkian on March 13, 2013

In lieu of daylight saving time beginning, I thought I’d discuss some tips on change and embracing all that you are, right now.

Let’s start by clearing out space, call it “spring cleaning,” both internally and externally.

  1. The past is the past. Think about everything that you’ve been through up until this point. Think about everything you thought you’d never get through. Think about it one more time, chew it over, chew it thoroughly, and finally, swallow. Even if you’re not done dealing with the events that have happened, put it to rest. Make your amends and leave it be. You’re still here. Focus your awareness on the present moment. You don’t have to relive your memories anymore.
  2. Embrace change. Dream and work towards your goals but never allow them to place a chokehold on you. The future is scary, uncertain, and never fully what you’d expect it to be. Understand that what you put out there will resonate tenfold. Know that new opportunities and the actions you put forth will bring you more than you ever imagined at the exchange of the comfort of the familiar.
    “Your shoes aren’t nearly as valuable as the experiences you’ve missed out on because you were too busy keeping them clean.” – Dallas Clayton.
  3. Let go of the need to fit into any norm, no matter what or who’s pressuring you. Fight the urge to be the ideal, to be the “perfect” individual, to be whatever state of mind/feeling/image you’ve found yourself attached to. What others have associated you with does not have to matter. Know you are exactly where you are meant to be in the grand scheme of things. Do the best you can (for yourself) today because yesterday has passed and tomorrow is still a ways to go. Have patience and the will to continue paving the path you’re on and the next stop will take care of itself.
  4. Don’t hold onto relationships that aren’t working. You don’t have to feel bad about removing toxic people from your life. Give your spirit room to grow by letting them go. The people you surround yourself should challenge you and ultimately help you bloom, not weigh you down. Be brave enough to let the poisonous ones free. Be brave enough to allow the formation of new friendships. If you end up alone during the transition process, let it cultivate you as you adjust.
  5. Explore. Put yourself in new situations. Keep plans you make with friends/new acquaintances. Visit new places and breathe deeply. Take up a craft you always wanted try. Watch the sunset from another vantage point. Break habits. Try writing or eating with your non dominant hand. Adapting to new situations will keep your mind nimble.
  6. Don’t be afraid to be alone. Don’t skip out on events you really want to attend if you have no one else to go with. Take yourself out on dates. Read at the park or a quiet coffee shop. Go to a concert. Take a walk under the starry sky. Dedicate a day to self-care to nurture your mind, body, and soul.
  7. Move your body. Engage in activity that raises your heart rate. Exercise to strengthen your muscles, not to solely burn off calories. Do something you enjoy. Take a walk around the neighborhood. Go on a sunrise hike. Have a dance party. Stretch. Breathe deeply.
  8. Practice non-attachment. Sift through your belongings. Chuck what you don’t need into the donation bin. Then go back and take out what you should’ve pulled out and put it aside. Let it sit for a week or so and re-evaluate its meaning. Amend the old, the painful, and the broken bits as a means of finding closure. Reworking the space is just as good as clearing it.
  9. Volunteer, be giving. Actively participate in helping those without necessary resources or with other obstacles to help ease their burdens. Instead of throwing money in the bin, take some extra thought and effort to show another you care. When it down to the nitty gritty bits, we’re all intertwined and more connected than the precepts we put forth. We all just want to be loved in the end. Extend a hand and encourage the random act of kindness to continue. Who knows? You may even find yourself humbled in the process.
  10. Keep an agenda. Block down what must be done (school, studying, work, sleep, etc) and allow the rest of the time to unwind with friends, family, and yourself. Find events that interest you around campus and/or town and write them down. Make your planner your go to place for important tasks/reminders. Think of it as a flexible tool that can help guide you. You don’t have to control nor do you have wing everything. The best way to find the balance that works for you is to simply begin using one.

Clean out “space” to allow new experiences and people into your life. If you’re always holding onto the past, rolling it over and over in your mouth like a dead piece of gum, you’ll become stagnant. Stop relishing in the hurt. Give yourself a chance to breathe again.

You are not your failures. You are not your losses.
You are worthy. You are enough.

Allow life to unfold and adjust the sails as needed. The ships will sail whether or not you’re on board. Even something quick such as shifting your awareness will help you along. Baby steps count.

I’ll leave you with this:
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” – Rumi

Take care.

 

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